Darling, Do You Have a Purpose for This Lifetime?

Last night I heard a lady comedian say that she felt alive when she was on stage. When she worked at other jobs, she felt flat.

Was being a comedian her purpose?

When you were six years old, what did you imagine for yourself?

How about at twelve?

Were those dreams your purpose?

Do you ever say, “I wish I was doing what they are doing?”

A lot of times, choose one.

It changes sometimes. Boys used to want to grow up to be firefighters.

I glanced into Darling magazine this morning and stumbled upon a few questions that intrigued me.


When was a time you wanted to quit?


How did you handle it?


If you persevered, what was the most rewarding part?

(I was rewarded with a beautiful baby.

I got my college degree.)

We have been conditioned to think that there is a grand purpose for us written somewhere in the sky like an airplane skywriter spewing out white smoke.

You look up, expecting to find the divine answer from the exhaust of that plane. Except the wind blew away the last word before you read it.

It happens. Some people know what they want to do. Some are secure in their choices. Some are not.

The first thing to do is find something that makes you feel alive. Like Mary Oliver said, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

Part of the challenge is figuring that out.

That figuring it out time is what Steven Pressfield calls Wandering in the Wilderness. Although sometimes we read that last word from the plane’s tailpipe (?) but refuse the call—that’s normal—in the hero’s journey, the hero (that’s you) often refuses the initial call.

We’re afraid we can’t make it.

We’ll fail.

We’ll make fools out of ourselves.

We’ll be embarrassed.

Someone will say, “I told you so.”

We’ll disappoint ourselves or someone else.


Who’s life is it, after all?

Okay, here’s some woo-woo that has married science.

I’ve been reading You Are The Placebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza. Whatever we want, if we can quiet the mind, we have a better chance of finding it. 

Despenzia teaches meditation in a way I had never heard of. He says to focus not on your body but outside of it. For example, imagine a space about six inches from your nose. Focus on that spot. 

He teaches Neuroplasticity, a concept that says genes are affected by the mind and change accordingly.

“When you’re truly focused on an intention for some future outcome, if you can make inner thought more real than the outer environment during the process, the brain won’t know the difference between the two…you will signal new genes, in new ways, to prepare for this imagined outcome.”—Dr. Joe Dispensia

“The goal” (of Neuroplasticity), writes Dawson Church, Ph.D.,” is to change your beliefs and perceptions about your life at a biological level, so that you are, in essence, loving a new feature into concrete material existence.”

A Flamboyance

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