What do you do when you hit one of those days where you question why you’re here, if you are making any difference in the world, and feel that your work is a bunch of crap?
I rarely have those days, but I did yesterday.
I had nothing to say for my blog, even sitting in front of the computer drove me nuts. And then I dipped into twitter and saw a beautiful girl riding bareback on a gorgeous horse.
I felt uplifted until I saw that shortly below the picture Lady Gaga was rushing home because her horse, Arabella–the one in the picture–was dying.
A few pictures below, that beautiful girl was crying her eyes out with a broken heart.
I got out of twitter and decided to get out of the house too.
Luckily, that day, I had that opportunity as I don’t always have a vehicle and I care for my grandson. But as luck would have it, my daughter was home and I could take off for tall timber, Hey, I had my faithful pickup—my office on wheels.
We’ve had rains recently and they have turned the fields into green lakes so exquisitely brilliant it brings tears to your eyes. And driving through emerald fields of green, I saw that lady luck was smiling on me.
And a white horse galloped across a field.
(I consider white horses to be like shooting stars, something to wish upon, and good luck.)
The lead lifted from my heart. And then across the road, I saw why the white horse was so excited. Two horses, with two riders, were ambling along through one of those fields.
To further cheer me up, later on, I stopped in my tracks and watched three squirrels playing tag in the middle of the road. There were no cars except for mine, so the squirrels were safe and they quickly scampered away to safety.
Guess I was scampering away to safety too. And I found a place to heal from my insecurities. Greenfields, three horses, three playing squirrels.
When animals play, they play full out.
Sometimes we forget to do that.
By evening, I had read Martha Beck’s account of an experience during surgery. I would call it an out-of-body-experience, some might say it was an anesthesia-induced hallucination, but no, it was, for her, a spiritual awakening no matter what you call it.
It left her with a love, a calmness she had never before experienced. And her conclusion got to me. Rather than have one mountain-top experience, (she didn’t use that term) she concluded that that was the way we were meant to live all the time.
I wondered, however, about the following quote, and wondered who had said it, and found that I did. I had written it on a site that has languished unpublished for years. Had I read that quote someplace else? I don’t know.
If we expect perfection we are in for a rude awakening. And if we expect that failure will never touch us, that is to say, we have never taken risks, learned from failure, survived a set-back or given the opportunity to forge ahead in the face of adversary.
And so I read that site and received its pep-talk.
On the off-chance that someone else will benefit from it as I did, I hit the button that said, “Publish.”
Love long and keep wishing.
I love you,